I posted in aaron’s IG this. “We celebrated taking 1st steps and now, we grieve the confirmation of hearing loss in my right ear.” Hurray!! He took steps. The joy of seeing him waddle around was so overwhelming that tears came. Happy tears. It was such a huge milestone. At least for him and me.… Read More Celebrations and Grief
It is hard because i am a perfectionist. Toy cars are meant to be zoomed across. Blocks are meant to be stacked. Stuffed toys are meant to be cuddled. Books are meant to be read. Instructions are meant to be followed. High fives are meant to be returned. Hugs and kisses are meant to be… Read More Why is it so hard?
You know.. what ifs are very painful. Very very painful. Some days are harder than others. Having to deal with lots of what ifs.. What if i didn’t insist on inducing Aaron and he came at his own time. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to go through the whole ordeal of “where’s Alma” (that’s the… Read More What if…
This is a super rant post. EIPIC is this early intervention program for children with special needs. I have many bones to pick with how the system is run. Step 1: Get referred for EIPIC. this can come from either the neuro/genetics or whoever thinks the child needs early intervention. Step 2: See a Medical… Read More EIPIC
We were sent to do a hearing test 2 weeks ago and Aaron failed the right ear.. The clinicians were very meticulous and kept trying about 3 times and they told me that they think that he is impaired on the right. So, an ENT specialist appointment was made and we saw her yesterday. She… Read More And now the right ear..
I had a pretty rough day on the 30th of Jan. We had 3 important medical appointments that day. In the morning we met with the geneticist who had to explain the Chromosomal Microarray Analysis (CMA) Report which showed a Loss of cytoband Xp22.33/Yp11.32 and an absence of heterozygosity 2q32.3q33.1 which if you really ask… Read More Was is God or was it the Devil?
Thats what everyone says right? To “try” to be impartial, not to show expectation on gender.. Bullshit! I always wanted boys. It’s just something i hoped. If Aaron was a girl, it would be natural for me to try for another boy. So, woohoo.. congrats to me!! I have a boy!! So once we get… Read More As long as the baby is healthy..
Our neuro decided not to refer us to early intervention (EIPIC) because she feels that Aaron has “a chance to be normal”. So we are still stuck with appointments of physiotherapy, hydrotherapy as well as speech therapy (starting in Jan 2018) and occupational therapy (starting Mar 2018) on a weekly basis. Costs aside, time aside..… Read More Expectations
This is my version of the story and my point of view. Maybe, she just thinks im horrible too. We got a helper to care for Aaron. 1st one was this fresh myanmar helper and she came 1 month b4 Aaron was born. She was very rough with everything, using brute force on even removing… Read More The Helper who didn’t help.
I’m grieving the perfect child that I didn’t get. It hurts.
