It has been particularly hard.. remember the Whole Genome Sequencing (WGS) test we took in May? The results are ready but my heart is not ready to face it. So I postponed the appointment which was supposed to be on 2nd Oct to 30th Oct.. Why you might think especially since I have been patiently waiting for the result for so long. I guess I chickened out. Whatever the result, it will not change much. So why is there a need to know? To cast it in stone? If nothing comes out of it, nothing changes too.. My heart is already so broken, why must I keep subjecting it to more stabs.. some days, things are good, I push aside all these feelings and I can function normally, but there are days, like today, where the weather is cold and gloomy. The weather screams my feelings, my dashed dreams, my pain.
Its not easy to be strong. Its not easy at all.