Celebrations and Grief

I posted in aaron’s IG this.

“We celebrated taking 1st steps and now, we grieve the confirmation of hearing loss in my right ear.”

Hurray!! He took steps. The joy of seeing him waddle around was so overwhelming that tears came. Happy tears. It was such a huge milestone. At least for him and me. His team of therapist were all jubilant and they all were so excited for us and literally told me “i told u so… 18 months!”

I know i have to be patient. BUT honestly, its very very easy for by standers to make such comments. Very easy for people (even people who are closest) to say toxic and nasty things about how he is being medically managed now. Maybe they deem me unsuitable to manage him properly? I have no idea, and all i want to do it cut off all these people. Be a cheerleader, be a listener. I might be wrong. But the constant judging is really overboard. Oh well.

So yesterday was the 6 week break from our last ENT appointment. The water behind the ear drum cleared and we cleared the ear wax too and they tested the ear drum and thank god, its fine. But in another test (sorry i really cannot remember all the alphabets they were rambling to me) it showed that indeed he has hearing loss on his right ear.

They are going to put him under GA in 2 weeks to do a detailed hearing test to determine what type of hearing loss he has and can it be reversed with a procedure or he will need hearing aids.

To me, this hearing thing is something that i can solve. I can make it better, so it doesn’t bother me that much. Erm.. it bothers me only because its an issue.

ahhhhh… whatever.

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