The Helper who didn’t help.

This is my version of the story and my point of view. Maybe, she just thinks im horrible too.

We got a helper to care for Aaron. 1st one was this fresh myanmar helper and she came 1 month b4 Aaron was born. She was very rough with everything, using brute force on even removing cushion covers. After Aaron was born, my hub said “cannot leave Aaron with her” coz she is not confident in even feeding him and bathing him. So, after 7 weeks, we let her go.

So along came this one. She had prior experience in Saudi and Hong Kong. Initially, she was ok, im not sure if i was blinded coz i was in desperate need of help. Pumping round the clock for a baby that cannot latch and i didnt know it is because of his hypotonia. And he was so jaundiced that i spent many hours everyday bringing him for his jaundice check. Maybe, i accepted any help.

Months and months passed.. i was not exceptionally thrilled about her but i have nothing much to complain when it comes to caring for Aaron. I also went back to work and so was focused on the peak season. It was only after chinese new year when we realized problems with Aaron’s torticollis and plagiocephaly that i started to nag and insists things to be done a certain way.

Looking back, it all started with the helmet therapy. If u don’t know, the helmet costs us $2,800 (excluding follow appts) and there was a specific window period for it to be effective. And i had to keep spot checking on my helper and everyday like a broken record repeating “where is his helmet”, “wear his helmet” etc. And she always replied “aaron dun like”. Come on, i also don’t like, but we don’t have a choice. And so, months on, due to her, Aaron’s head isn’t as round as I hoped. Window lost. Nothing can be done. Moving on.

Then Aaron started physiotherapy and all, and i brought her to the sessions with me and the physiotherapist taught her how to hold Aaron, what exercises to do and what not to do like sitting him in the rocker/bumbo. Did she listen? No.

Once Aaron had fever. And she didn’t even call us to inform us. Only when we reached home at 6pm, then we realized he was burning at 40degrees.

Anyway, she isn’t the cleanest.. simple instructions like wash his toys, wipe his mat, all went thru 1 ear, out the other.

I don’t even want to say anything to her. Its impossible she didn’t see it. Oh well.

My husband even demonstrated to her to use warm water with dettol and wipe the playmat and toys down. And see what she is doing!! Mopping the playmat with the mop.

I am very particular about safety. And so, under my care, Aaron can only sleep in his cot and no where else coz its the safest place. Told her a million times (i randomly head home to check on her) and yet, she constantly leave Aaron on her bed unattended when he napped.

Once, i raised my voice and told her again to only put Aaron in his cot. You know what she said??? “Aaron dunno how to turning also, no problem” yes, she is right, my son cannot flip, turn, sit and all etc due to his hypotonia and gdd. But, what if?

Oh well.. maybe im being too tough on her.. but am i wrong to have such expectations? She is stubborn and will always talk back to me.

Examples:

1.

Me: dun cook maggi mee for the kids

She: they ask i cook. (EVERYDAY!)

And when i stop buying

She: i have no makan. Maggi mee must buy.

2.

Me: dun give Aaron milk after he makan lunch.

She: he hungry

Erm.. i need to control his weight. Being fat is not helping him. And i did explain to her i need him to lose weight

3.

Me: dun let aaron sit in bumbo and watch tv (the whole day)

She: he likes baby songs

🙄

4.

Me: dun cook 1 big pot porridge and put in fridge. Everyday cook new porridge

She: cooking little bit very difficult.

🙄 and so my poor son ate the same flavor and it was always overnight and cold. Sighh…

i mean.. people can easily contest, then you do yourself la.. yeah.. thats another story with my nonexistent “work life balance”..

I never thought my child would be special needs. I need someone who can help out and not do the exact opposite and keep thinking im being the bad parent. According to many, im already a bad mother coz i must have done something bad in my past or present life, or during pregnancy to cause my son’s genetic issues.

Im glad she left. See! I even have time to blog about her. I can do this!

Look! I made macaroni today and Aaron loves it!! Yeah✌️

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